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I realize that most of the blogs I follow religiously have been eloquently talking about "No on 8" - enough so that I hesitate to throw my own voice into the fray. Then I realized that this is what No on 8 needs - more supportive voices. This twenty-one year old bisexual wants you to vote "No on 8" for the people. Ellen, Polly from Lesbian Dad, Melissa Etheridge and Tammy, millions of others. I don't believe for one second that their marriages won't be "disintegrated" by the evil powers that be. Isn't that awful? Someone can, by voting Yes on a proposition that the Yes-ers have been twisting for their own purposes to confuse good people who will be horrified when they learn the truth behind their Yes. Or they won't be horrified. But they should be.

Peaches Geldof got married in Vegas in secret, barely old enough to realize what marriage is. Britney Spears was married in Vegas for less than 24 hours. People from my high school get married just because they're pregnant and then are stuck in marriages they want to leave - just like Bristol Palin. These are the people who "ruin" marriage. The people who marry because they are threatened with being tossed out by their families or to save face. The people who marry on a whim, to people they don't really love. These are the people who ruin marriage.

I cried when I saw the coverage of the first gay marriages in SF. There were people who were my grandma's age, who had been in love for fifty years, finally able to marry. People who, even without the prospect of marriage, continued to love. These couples, the ones whose love is genuine, are what gives me hope that my own marriage means something.

I'm getting married in less than three years, to a wonderful man. It terrifies me that if I had chosen a woman, if I had chosen "wrong", I might never have the chance to have a real marriage. Screw civil unions. They don't provide nearly as many rights as a real marriage.

Vote "No" not because you want those religious people to get their comeuppance or to stick it to your homophobic family. Well, if it'll get you to vote, then go ahead.
But vote for the people. Vote for the people who are on tenterhooks, wondering if their marriage is going to be threatened, if they're ever going to be allowed to get married.

Because everyone deserves to fight with their future mother-in-law over personalized cocktail napkins, just like I will.

Also, just vote. If not for Ellen or any of us, for Doogie.

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September 2011

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